Humor – Page 9 – Jeff Maddox

March 21, 2015February 13, 2016

Beyond a Tank of Gas

Officially I’m not old. Let’s get this out there right now. Although what little hair I have is quite gray, I’m really not that old. So why do I ride an “old man’s” bike? Well it has so much more to do with being wiser, not older. You see when you ride a lot of miles, you quickly find out it’s not about looking cool but rather feeling comfortable.

There surely was a time when cool was important to me. In fact cool was only something a weird guy like me could hope to be at some point in my life. I know I wowed friends with my sense of humor, but at no time did I hear anyone say to me “you’re cool.” Funny yes, but never cool. But I digress.

Why is the bike I ride considered an old man’s bike anyway? Big seat, cruise control, stereo, CB radio, plenty of wind protection (to keep my flowing locks free from tangles) and storage – lots of storage. Oh, and a trailer hitch. Now I know what you’re thinking; a young man wouldn’t need these things. He would set off on a ride with little or no suspension, a flannel shirt, Chuck Taylors on his feet, and his Ray Bans acting as his windshield. Trust me, he isn’t riding far. Oh, I know he’s cool and the envy of some, but that’s only cool for a tank of gas or so. I’ve seen everything within a tank of gas from where I live. In fact you have to pass the same old scenery just to get anywhere. It’s beyond the 5 gallons of gas or so that I long for. Hell, I would rather be 5 tanks of gas away from anywhere on my motorcycle.

It’s beyond the 5 gallons of gas or so that I long for.

It takes at least a couple of fill-ups to see the unfamiliar landscape we desire and for those of us “old bastards” who like to travel on our motorcycles, we’re just getting warmed up. I’m not trying to take away anything from being young and adventurous. Living on a shoestring, willing to sacrifice your comfort for the sake of it all and to set off completely unprepared for whatever mother nature throws at you is a choice, and who am I to argue? Just because I can’t leave the house without lip balm might tell you something about me. I was young once and that’s all I’m going to say about that. With youth comes learning and with age comes learned. I’ve learned the hard way to not set off on a ride without a pair of gloves if there is any chance the temperature could drop along the way. And I’ve learned my ass needs a soft seat for any ride longer than 20 minutes.

So I don’t want to hear my motorcycle referred to as an “old man’s” bike anymore. It is more of a “dues paid” motorcycle.

March 1, 2015February 15, 2016

An Amazing Machine for a Simple Guy

The long old road of truth awaits those who ride motorcycles. We somehow find our way to places we think we’ve been only to find this time it’s different. It isn’t always about what we see, but more of what we find. Finding the truth about myself and giving validation to everything that goes on inside this pretty little head of mine is exactly what I need when the moment is right. Sure, sometimes those moments are few and oh, so far between. Winter can be longer and harder for a motorcyclist as we need the constant motion and the tilting of horizons to be plumb again. The less vertical we get our bikes, the more true we feel. It’s all about calibration.

“The less vertical we get our bikes, the more true we feel. It’s all about calibration.”

When we finally find answers to questions we never asked, it becomes apparent there is more to us than meets the eye. We ride to not only lose ourselves, but also to get an understanding of why we desire to get lost in the first place. Having ridden motorcycles for so many years it has proven itself as a vehicle for answers. What’s over the next hill and around the next curve? My motorcycle will answer that question. How cold is it and how hard is it raining two miles down the road? Yep, you got it. How far is the next gas station and will I make it? I’m confident my motorcycle will let me know the answer to that one. Not every answer is something we want to hear or see for that matter.

Those answers to life’s questions come to me in the form of reflection and contemplation. I’ve often said my motorcycle is where I do my best thinking and this remains true. The longer the ride, the further I reflect. Reflection seems to put me on the road to find what I search for internally. I don’t know if we are designed to find all the answers to life’s questions as I think it is the search for these answers that keeps us moving. As long as I’m moving, I’m good.

You have your own reasons for riding as I do. Our motorcycles provide us with the stimulation for all our senses and it’s hard to give just one reason. Transportation, recreation, motion and emotion is a lot to expect from our bikes but they handle it well. I can do my best thinking when I’m not thinking about much at all, and I often see more of my surroundings without even looking. An amazing machine for such a simple guy like me.

February 11, 2015February 13, 2016

The Choices We Didn’t Make

This morning as I stood upon the steps trying to decide on whether or not to ride my motorcycle to work on this cold, cloudy and windy day, the only thing I could think about was my weatherman Collin missing the mark the two previous days. Not that he was that far off, but it surely wasn’t in my favor. So today I decided to not ride because of it. I thought to myself “I’ll teach him.”

So my drive in was one of deep thought. Just like on my motorcycle, I spend a good portion just thinking about stuff that I don’t get a chance to think about otherwise. This decision on whether or not to ride is something that comes up a lot during the fall and winter months so it really isn’t that surprising. But this morning it occurred to me that I spent so much time trying to decide on something so trivial. Is riding that important to me? It is, but why make such a big deal about whether I’m going to or not? There are way more important life decisions and choices to make that all of a sudden this seemed insignificant. So what’s the problem?

Looking back over a lifetime there are many choices and decisions we make that can literally change the course of who we are and what we do. Fundamentally we are going to be the person we truly are, but I think you know what I mean. Some of the great mysteries of life are a direct result of decisions and choices we didn’t make.

“Some of the great mysteries in life are a direct result of decisions and choices we didn’t make.”

I’ve been riding motorcycles enough to know that the decision to ride or not affects my whole day. It is who I am and what I do so when I don’t ride I’m usually kicking myself for whatever reason. That little voice in my head says many things through the course of a day and when he’s right I can’t argue. You do hear those voices too, don’t you?

I’m not trying to trivialize the choices we make here. But we are faced with big and small decisions every day and depending on the outcome of those decisions it can alter how our day goes. Put it on a larger scale and we’ve all made life decisions that resulted in where we are standing today. Call it fate, chance or destiny – even luck, but life is full of choices. I know I’ve made several calls to not ride when I should have and vice-versa, but in the end it didn’t do any more than irritate me.

I often think about the road that led me to where I am today. I think about those crossroads where a choice was made and things changed, and how it would be different if that life intersection had been just a mile or two further down the road. I think about those future crossroads that I’ve yet to meet and how nobody knows how it will really turn out. That’s the beauty of it – and that’s where those great mysteries of life come from.

February 4, 2015February 13, 2016

Indian Motorcycles – Every Story Needs A Hero

I love a great story, one that takes me back to a world before my time. And as you know every great story has a beginning, a middle and some even have an end. But this story hasn’t ended yet. In fact, I think this may be just the beginning.

Indian Motorcycles is a great story, and as the story goes right now, it has me sitting on the edge of my chair. I’ve been a motorcycle guy for over 40 years. Growing up, my world revolved around everything I could get my hands on that could give me any information to what was going on out in the world of motorcycling. Living in the Midwest in the ’70s, information was a little slow to arrive, but when it did I hung onto each picture and every word. Yes, as in the printed word. We didn’t live in some futuristic world of instant information, video on a whim or hand-held telecommunication devices that kept us current with the media…you know, like socially. Magazines told us of what in the world was going on, and we liked it so much we saved them in stacks. For you folks living in the future, that means we didn’t “delete” them.

We are living in a period where we can witness the Indian Motorcycle story as it unfolds. We already know how the story began, and much like those folks living around 1901 when George Hendee and Carl Hedstrom put their collective heads together and started it all, those who followed it through the local newspapers watched it unfold in real-time. They were living through the era of racing board track, the beginning of the Isle of Man TT, World War I, and “Cannonball” Baker as the Indian story progressed through the ’20s. I’m sure around 1915 they weren’t sitting on the edge of their seats, but as news goes people will follow. No one thought they would ever see the end of the story in their lifetime. We often live our lives not thinking like this, but it’s still true today. What has happened in your lifetime that we take for granted, not thinking how many more chapters there will be?

Like any good book there are chapters where the reading gets a little dry. Around 1953 all production was halted and the company went bankrupt. With several attempts over the years to revive the Indian brand it was discovered to be harder than one would think. Deep pockets and big dreams can get you far but it takes more than that. It takes a hero to come in and save the day and that hero is Polaris Industries. A company with the know-how and the wherewithal to make it happen. The secret ingredient? I believe it’s the people. Just as George and Carl were the guys to kick it off, the people behind Polaris Industries have the passion and desire and more importantly – a track record to make it happen. The Indian Motorcycle brand is a story within itself, but the real story is its success. Polaris, quietly building Victory Motorcycles for years, shakes the industry up with the new Indian Brand. Not only did it garner worldwide attention, but as a side benefit, it pulls Victory Motorcycles into an even brighter spotlight. This story can only get better.

The Indian Motorcycle Brand has found a good, permanent home with Polaris. A rough and rocky road for many years, Indian can now be the Brand it so deserves to be. When you are passionate about something it’s easy to get excited about it. I’ve been a passionate motorcyclist for many years and it isn’t hard to spot the kind of enthusiasm building behind Indian Motorcycles. I know there is so much more to come and it’s happening in real-time for us.

January 8, 2015January 8, 2015

Embrace the Uphill

We’re a few days into a new year and I’m sure many of you have already broken free of those pesky restrictions of your New Year’s resolutions. This year I have convinced myself to set some lofty goals, and some “not so” lofty goals. Things I should be doing; taking better care of myself with exercise, drinking more water and eating less. It’s difficult to do the right things even though we know its best for us. Damn the slippery slope and the path of least resistance. Why does it have to be so hard to be better? Oh, that’s right – we have to want to.

I’ve always had a pretty positive attitude and a good outlook on life, so for me setting goals isn’t that hard. I automatically assume when I set my mind to something I’m going to make it happen. Again, it comes down to how bad you want it and what you’re willing to do to make it happen. Sometimes it’s just making your mind up and taking that first step, and I’m sure for many it can seem to be uphill both ways. Hey, no one said it would be easy, but more often than not it’s not as hard as we thought it would be. Go figure.

I’ve set a couple of personal goals this year. One is to get a little deeper into this motorcycle industry than I have ever been before. Making my living selling motorcycles is fine but I want to be involved in this industry on a much larger scale. Global? Can a small town boy from Kansas be global? Sure. Is that one of my goals? Lofty, but no. When you’re passionate about something it should come natural, and if you know me you know I’m passionate about motorcycles. Right now I’m not sure if this particular goal can be measured. Further into the industry can mean a lot of things I guess, but everything is measured in steps. So any step forward is one step closer to a goal – wherever that goal is.

I wish I had more definition on what this goal is. To give such a broad statement with expectations of hitting a goal without clear objectives can be difficult. I think when it happens (not if it happens) I will know that my goal has been achieved. Part of making and achieving goals is to push yourself to do something more than you would normally. Just as in exercising, if you don’t take that first step…I think you know where I’m going with this. A goal is the same thing no matter what it is. By just proclaiming your goals you’ve made that first step of recognizing you want more. But as in all things worth achieving, it takes work and determination, focus and a willingness to accept those “two steps back” moments and turn them into one step forward.

I have challenged myself and I challenge you to do the same. Embrace the uphill in whatever it is you want to achieve and the rewards will be worth it. I’m looking forward to it.

January 6, 2015

The Things Postcards and Calendars are Made Of

“From the seat of my motorcycle…”

No matter your mode of transportation, you must admit this world is a beautiful place. And if you happen to be in the right place at the right time, you will be gifted with something way bigger than we are. The power of the weather makes things seem small in comparison, and if we’re lucky, we can appreciate it without all the fuss. Even a bright sunny day with little or no wind (insert your favorite type of clouds here) can put a smile on your face. We motorcyclists know that if we ride long enough we will get to see some pretty cool things. Oh, and you folks that drive will see them too.

Often in my travels it seems my path and these brief seconds of beauty collide. The world around me is a constant changing thing and the fact that a mere moment or two can be the difference of seeing something camera worthy, or a minor inconvenience. We know our days can be punctuated with these small wonders, but if you’re not looking for them, they will never be seen.

It isn’t always about sunrises or sunsets. There can be beauty in anything when you take the time to look. It’s all around us for crying out loud. Today with the frigid temps you wouldn’t expect to find anything that makes you smile, but with the clear blue sky and snow on the ground I find it to my liking. The crispness in the air is just right. Cold? Yes. Groovy? Of course..

No matter the season or your state of mind, we can look around us and appreciate what makes those postcards and calendars so cool. There is nothing like seeing it and feeling it in person and as bikers we take the good with the bad. In this case; the cold with the view. No, I didn’t ride today, but it’s not because I didn’t want to. But I can still take in the scenery from wherever I am and wish that I had ridden. It will warm up soon enough and when it does…it will be from the seat of my motorcycle.

January 3, 2015

Hello, My Name is Jeff

If you look around you can see doppelgangers everywhere…think about that for a minute!

Jeff Maddox

The world really is a small place. Sure, if you pull back from the surface and look at a map, or take the globe off the shelf and give it a spin, it can look like a pretty large and daunting object. But seriously, how many times have you been miles away from home only to run into somebody you know? As random as it seems there is probably a logical explanation for that. For instance, like-minded people hang out or go to the same places, so it shouldn’t be out of the question that within the realm of travel that someone you know would also be there. Traveling on a motorcycle actually puts you in this position. As riders, we seek out the most scenic routes and the likelihood of running into familiar faces is probably high. Even if we are trying to find the solitude that riding a…

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December 29, 2014

2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 9,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 3 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

December 17, 2014December 3, 2016

A Boy and His Machine – My Harley-Davidson Experience

Everyone should experience that “first Harley-Davidson” feeling. I hate to utter the words but yes, it changed my life, but in my case it was for more than one reason. I’ve been riding motorcycles since the ’70s and at the tender and impressionable young age of 12 years old I got my first – a Harley-Davidson X90. This would be the very beginning of a boy and his machine; teaching me the basics of riding and giving me the hands-on understanding of simple mechanics. There are few things I remember about being 12 and the awkwardness in my teens, and there are a few things I’d like to forget. But not the part of riding my first motorcycle – which happened to be a Harley. So was my first Harley-Davidson that experience of a lifetime I speak of? Sort of. But the real experience would come much later in life. Like way after puberty.

For the next 32 years I went through a long list of motorcycles, many of which I wish I had back. I owned a little of everything (okay, a lot of everything totaling 30+) including many different makes and models, but it wasn’t until 2006 that I purchased my second Harley-Davidson – an 883 Custom. Was this Sportster the one that changed my life? Yes and no. This bike gave me my first taste of riding that traditional 45° V-twin engine that is so well-loved within the Harley-Davidson community. I liked riding this motorcycle to the point that I realized I needed a bike that would be the one that gave me that feeling. So my second Harley was good, but… By August of 2007 I found a used 2001 Heritage Softail in a beautiful Jade Pearl that just blew me away. This, my friends is the Harley-Davidson that gave me that “first Harley-Davidson” feeling. This motorcycle completely change my whole way of thinking when it came to riding bikes. I finally found a motorcycle that fit me like a good pair of boots. This bike was made for me. It’s like someone at the Harley Factory sat down a said, “we need to build a bike for this guy” and they did. Little did I know they had been building this bike for many years and I just didn’t know it. I do now. This is the bike that opened my eyes to the community around the brand and the motorcycle that Harley-Davidson has built.

As I’ve said before, I’ve ridden a lot of motorcycles and never before have I experienced someone walking over to me at the gas station and asking me “where are you headed?” As if I’m living on my Harley with a bed-roll, sleeping on picnic tables and writing my blog on brown paper bags. When actually I’m headed to Subway for lunch. It’s that mystique of the brand that is Harley-Davidson and it brings people – men, women and children – over to tell me what a beautiful bike I have. It’s almost as if they are missing something in their lives and want to live vicariously through me. I’ve never experienced that with any other motorcycle I’ve owned. I’m okay with that.

But more importantly, this bike allowed me to travel outside of that invisible 150 mile radius all the other bikes I’ve owned kept me within. Well, those bikes didn’t keep me there, but it’s all about wanting to ride further and being comfortable doing it. Like a boot, remember? It was on this Heritage I made my first trip to Sturgis. Good times with good people. So it was my third Harley-Davidson that gave me that “first Harley-Davidson” feeling. It’s this bike that put me smack-dab into a culture and lifestyle that I didn’t even know existed, and to think I prided myself for having my fingers on the pulse of all things motorcycle for over 30 years. At least as much as you can being from Kansas and all. I rode that Heritage Softail almost 80,000 miles. It was a tough day when I traded her in for a 2002 Road King. Tough. A lot of miles and a lot of memories behind that windshield. Wow, it’s difficult to even think about it, and it’s funny how I never felt that way about the others. But I quickly found out the Road King was more than capable, and after 3 more trips to Sturgis (among other places) and 45,000 miles in two years, I traded it for a 2006 Ultra Classic. I’m looking forward to the many miles and many more memories on this one. So I must say it isn’t always the first one that means the most; it’s finding the right one. And when you do, you’ll feel it.

It’s been a great ride and for a motorcycle guy like me, Harley-Davidson has pushed me to ride more miles than I ever thought I would. It’s amazing when two worlds and two wheels collide, and for that I thank The Motor Company.

And now I am editing this post with the latest, a 2007 Road King. Yes, I’m back on a Road King! 10/25/2016

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December 14, 2014October 8, 2015

How To Get Your Own Late-Night Infomercial

We’ve got ourselves a unique situation here. As it is with anything you’re passionate about, you tend to gravitate towards all things related to that passion, and whether or not you agree, it can either be a conscious thing or a subconscious thing depending on how aware you are of your surroundings.

Putting my t-shirt on this morning in a somewhat sleepy daze, something just didn’t feel right. Either I found a new training technique to build up my pectoral muscles overnight, (with a possibility of late-night infomercials lining my pockets with cash) or my t-shirt was on backwards. Yeah, I was disappointed too. On both counts.

And why can’t someone invent a t-shirt that has no rules or directions for installation? Damn that pesky tag and my average pec muscles.

So in a brief awkward moment of whether to flip it around or just wear it backwards, I looked down to see the printing on the back of the shirt which is now located in the front. I must admit I don’t pay much attention to what’s on the back of my t-shirts as 99% of them are somehow motorcycle related. Some are obviously from places I’ve been or events I’ve attended, while some were free and come from unknown whereabouts. There are even a few in the drawer that I’ve never worn. How many do I need and when will all this madness stop? And why can’t someone invent a t-shirt that has no rules or directions for installation? Damn that pesky tag and my average pec muscles.

So I took my t-shirt off and flipped it around as to not make a fool of myself in public. I’m also aware that there is no guarantee that me wearing my shirt the right way will keep me from making a fool of myself in public. But I do know I need to sort through my drawers and put some new shirts in the rotation. And next time I might just take a look to see what’s on the back before installation. Even I like to know where I’ve been once in a while.